Recently my heart has weighed heavily for the situation in the country where we are serving and in particular for the plight of 3 famlies there. After leaving their homeland to come and serve, after working hard to adapt to a less-than-friendly environment, after countless hours of language learning, their service has come to an abrupt halt. The situation has forced them to pack-up and move back. They join the other 9 families we have seen leave that city in the last two years for similar reasons. Some had served for eight or more years; others had been there little more than a year. That's not counting those whose mission was forced to relocate their people to a more neutral and centralized location or those blessed to simply finish their langauge time and move on to their final destination as planned...but that's off point. My thoughts & prayers have been focused on those whose plans, thoughts, and dreams have been abruptly changed.
This situation coupled with our experience back in the US has deinitely given more depth of meaning to the word sacrifice. So many times we were thanked, admired, and applaudded for our "sacrifice," for doing what others couldn't (or wouldn't) and all the while I sat there uncomfortable with the praise.
"Sacrifice' has an underlying shade of pain & saddness, struggle and reluctance. Those are all words I think we have all lived through in our area of ministry, but then again, all who live and breath have or will experience these feelings regardless of their situation. So, what makes sacrifice more than just these sad, dark, desolate feelings for what's been given up or denied? I think it's finding the purpose in the pain--the "pay-off", if you would.
That brings me to another question we've been asked a lot..."Do you like it there?" I really don't like that one! :-) On one hand it makes me sound either critical or forces me to be unreal if I respond to it. It also downplays the sacrifice of it all. We've been called and try to find the joy in it despite the struggle. However, if I lived doing only what I "like", what's comfortable, then I wouldn't be there.
His call is about more than what makes us happy, though we may find happiness in it. More often than not, though, true joy, fullfillment, purpose and "like" are the by-product of having come through the struggle, having fought the good fight, and having pressed fwd towards the goal.
The goal or purpose are coupled with the pain, the struggle, the saddness, etc to bring about the meaning or significance of the sacrifice... However, I can now see that deeper in all of this sacrifice takes on a more positive shade. The shade that was making me uncomfortable with all the thanks and appreciation. Why was I being singled-out, thanked and applauded for the privilege of serving Him?! Why, when so many more qualified and mature were having to leave? Why was the privilege mine for now? That last question has really been challenging me to get my act together, to pick-up the baton, to begin enjoying the call while I can--while I have the privilege. For now, while the struggle and pain remain and await us upon our return, they are still our privilege!
To those of you have come before, thank you for your work, thank you for your example and thank you for your sacrifice.
Blessed in His Service,
Jen
No comments:
Post a Comment